I've learnt to ask questions I don’t want the answers to.
I've learnt to hold onto at least a third of my hopes & aspirations so I can always replant them when the storm and bush-following is over.
I've learnt that I still can’t lie to myself no matter how much I lawyer it. I knew. I know. I'm knowing. I'm in the know. *whispers* (this doesn’t however apply to lies that are white)
I've learnt people don’t appreciate anything long-term especially that which entails reaping in the future whilst being left a tad bit misinformed tempore
I've learnt that with disputes... No matter how heated things are in the moment… Never to take indecisive, although purgatory, action- reaction. Ponder of questions you may be asked by any random enquirer- what happened between you? What was the fight about? Why did you do this to him/her/them? Then the retort- "cuz he/she/they did this said this..." Now weigh, forecast and see...
猿も木から落ちる。 (Saru mo ki kara ochiru) #japanese
Learnt that it’s really a small world... One second. Before it contradicts itself the next.
That if people ‘love’ you... They let you do dumb things in the moment. Cuz it’s what you wanted to. What you think had to. Cuz they care about your feelings. But those that really love you... cast out a thing or two... All to secure your future... They care of the present in moderation but more about the impeding future. Those that really really really love you though... Would stop you in your tracks tell the raw truth of everything anything in a way that would ensure you 'hate' them for a day or two. Cuz to them... Your present status quo (thoughts, feelings, ambitions, hopes) matters, but in the least... They think ahead into the furthest future, the hereafter and the forever after that.
Learnt how to succinctly answer the question “who are you to me?”
Learnt ALOT more about relationships… (Shrink services open!) *smirks*
About patterns & schemes & scenarios. Because… Even within chaos there is order! Basically- THE CHAOS THEORY! Most of the time disarray is easily orchestrated to mask or even create a façade to veil the simple reality on ground. Point in view- American politics and the current Nigerian status quo.
New shortcut keys on a Windows OS.
What the insides of a wireless mouse, ups and my laptop look like #karambani
If you vote with goodluck in mind… You’re gonna need more than just patience! (wait a minute! Even if didn’t vote…)
There are certain choices we make that will continue to ‘haunt’ us... Till kingdom come. Or perhaps till we get a lobotomy. All it takes is for a sound an image a smell or even the most random of thing at the most random of places... When it happens we sigh. And move on.
Bad habits. Are just that. Habits- addictive routines. That are bad. So... Always ask yourself before indulging in something new... Will this become a habit. Is it good one. Or a bad one?
To hold dear your few good friends... By now... They’ve been tested enough. Are trustworthy. Should be stalwart. Thus. Few. Hold on to them!
Learnt not to underestimate the power of networking. Be open to it. 1stly in real life. Then social media. It will take you places!
Get your friend to report his lost ATM card ASAP. Cuz he’s your friend. So of course he procrastinates. And he lost it in Lagos. :-p
Travelling light is for sissies. Well... Atleast it’s not for me. Never has been. The one time I did try it... *Smh*
To have written and agreements from Day1 of any business endeavour. Cast aside familiarity and salvage future prosperity
To give a touchscreen phone a break... B4 it breaks i.e. Lolz.
Quia experiential docet nihil formidares #latin
That much as we want- Courage is not as contagious as fear... (This applies to most positive attributes.)
To be patient cuz you owe it to yourself. To bend over. Take a hit. To take crap. You owe it to yourself. To do a lot (selflessly). Take a lot (persevere). Cuz you owe it to yourself... To grow in those regards and much more. Don’t do it for anyone. Do it for you. You will be loved, revered and most importantly respected… for something(s) you did for ‘yourself’.
To be careful when handling certain certain machinery that need more than one operator... The other idiot may get tired and cost you a finger! (ps- all mine are accounted for. Lol. Alhamdulilah)
How to effectively use gps, maps, and all that navigation wahala. Never needed it till I missed an exit and found myself @ Ibadan toll-gate. *smh*
Agberos are the cause of every feud between police and soldiers. Lmao! True story.
Learnt the proper way to do press ups and sit ups. Very effective!
The most efficient way to drive a manual transmission automobile and getting more mileage off your clutch disc.
الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُمْ بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ أَلا بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ
013.028 "Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest/satisfaction. Al-Quran
Learnt to beckon firey desire at will and to summon icy resolve that chills. (Emotional intelligence meets NLP).
To apologise for ‘winning’. To thank for ‘loosing’.
To covet and hold firmly. To loosen my grip profusely.
Not to bother with saving every other number and delete ones gone stale. (B4 that I was some sorta directory lol)
The secret to love everlasting.
Mo Allah wuji furtada #fulfulde
Learnt that being deaf is a blessing when you live with malcontent complainers.
Blindness ditto for lecherous delinquents as relatives
Alot about literature and philosophy. (By that i simply i mean i picked up a reading habit)
I've learnt to love. And oh did I love. To give it. To receive it so awkwardly (doing that thing I do with my mouth). To seek it where sight, sound, and mind are confound’d. I sought it. I got it…
That a human being is simply complex. Don’t be the judge and jury all by yourself.
The reason some men are considered over women for jobs and the likes is not cuz they are smarter. God knows alota women are the bomb.) But rather cuz they've got a good handle on emotions. Logic and emotions dont mix. Thus the misconception of being a softie- consequences. Or a sterny- manhandling consequences. #NoChauvinism
That by removing fuel subsidy… we DO consequently get Fresh Air. Lesser cars on road. Lesser emissions. GO GOODLUCK GO GREEN! (next campaign slogan- you’re welcome)
A body of knowledge in real-time Heuristics
Ockham's Razor (Stumbled upon this a couple of years ago… Learnt to use it to ameliorate my moral and logical dilemmas. Satisfactory!)
Learnt that one of the quickest means of money... is off someone's misery! (Sad but true- world of nowadays)
Of reason's I harbor latent hate for hospitals is the Hypoccratic Oath and cheap ass disinfectants. One makes me puke figuratively. The other literally. #NigerianHospitals
As much as you think you wish could take in someone's predicament the most you could do is wish. The best... Pray for them.
To define in clear terms and understand the word ‘Policy’. In terms of expectations from a defined role... have the party understand and accept it. Saves you from future kasala. #business #work
I've learnt that if you want a serene head and heart as a (future) parent. Bother not about the uncertain future... Especially fitting to norms and bandwagons that are bound to take you to an early grave or force you into lying then hiding- a grave of its own.
To selectively listen to what is appallingly termed 'News'. I sift out weather reports and whether reports. (For when i'm plotting my nomadic bearings :-p)
I've learnt to tune my amygdala (for the better of course) #true
That consumption of red meat and other stuff inhibits calcium absorption #ConvalescenceBlues.
People will easily underestimate you if act coy, laissez faire, and take care of your body- ajebo etc
My mind does toy with me every time I’m out without a phone or writing pad- great ideas sprout, nowhere to put down
To hold my piece and let there be peace
That fear breeds humility in men.
To tear and not tear.
That wisdom is NOT synonymous with intelligence.
Learnt that a single conversation can make someone respect and revere you. (The reversal applies too.)
Once a close relative of yours (opposite sex) gets married- maintain a VERY platonic and courteous relationship. They may have a VERY insecure spouse!
How to use 3 phones at once!
A lil Idoma. (Greetings. Miss u’s. Yori Yori’s)
That thing Liberians actually speak is English?!? WTH!
Doing nothing hurts more than a conscientious effort to harm. Ignorance meets hypocrisy meets helplessness meets poor acting meets cowardice and creates what I know call The Victim Syndrome.
Women don’t truly know what they want… Men know too well. Cuz it aint that much to start with. And they can stretch two words into two pages.
The funniest people are in the village! Lmao! (will post some of my village stories soon InshaAllah)
In business. Always do extensive research b4 dragging in investors. One stuttered answer could be spell catastrophe.
Being lazy is not just detrimental to your body only but soul as well…
Love is twined with forgivness. To forgive one must love... A person place or thing… but mostly oneself.
It’s a small world!!! :-O (I know I’m repeating myself… but trust me… with good reason)
Not to be careful what you wish for... But be sure and certain what you pray for.
That I have an In-your-face theme
Some people are pathetic when it comes the illusion of winning & loosing. Winning a loosing battle.
That if Chinese philosophy of measuring ten times before cutting once is wise. Which it is... Then in literary sense... One should read more than he writes. I need to write. I need to write. I need to write. NO! I need to read. Aha!
To laugh at myself soooo hard till i tear. *smh*
Really cool sites for certain downloads, tech, proj mgt, etc
That I've got dysnia, insomnia, and relapsing into hypochondria- nope aint got paranoia. I checked!
Learnt that people you least expect... Are the ones paying the most attention.
Life is good... (regardless)
Learnt that quick-buck isn't synonymous with virtue, respect, integrity, morals and the likes
Learnt a lot about love and death.
Death of love
Love in death
Death in love
Love in death
Death in love
About love singularly
The difference between being aware and to beware. Conscious effort. Precaution.
You don’t really have to look outside to confirm where you're fuel tank is. Its there on the dash.
Alota new ways you could die. lolz
Desperation reeks like a cheap cologne- keep your cool especially when making negotiations. Poker face. Bluff calling.
That cowardice, lack of adventure & risk-taking is not a way of life. It’s actually unattractive. People hide behind the Holier-Than-Thou veil and specks of destinyish fate-ish talk. Not carking, pondering, or even wondering about infinite possibilities/probabilities.
Some people could be really shameless.
Learnt a lot of people prefer learning d hard way. Cliché? Yes. True? YES!
Not knowing has and always be a blessing- solace. AND a curse- grimace
To take and put criticism itself under critical view. (people with upity scrutiny)
To be honest even though it has the most repurcussions.
To define things 'a lil' differently.
To ask questions and not get answers at all. Leaving me two choices- answer them for myself (loooong ass process of elimination borne outta multiplicity) OR Ignore it! (Which aint easy. So… go with option 2.5)
Learnt of different types of silences.
Meaningful. Painful. And last but not least... My newbie- criminal silence. lolz
To decline 'job' offers
Do what people expect (for once!) :p
I've learnt that alota complicated stuff could happen within d simplicity of a minute. *sigh*
That parents... Parents... Handle them with care. You are closer to being one than you think. And then you won’t need explanation for some things they did or are doing.
There certain things and certain people that come at certain times that you don't fight. You give in. yeah… they are awesome.
None of something(s) is better that some of it.
There's no other word that rhymes with orange, purple, month or silver.
(So I’m on a quest now to do just that. Words are words no matter the language after all. #ChuwaChuwa)
It’s always possible for a smart person to act dumb- stoop to concur. But a dumb person... Well.... Go figure.
When something too good to be true. Its either too good or true. Accept it.
What may seem ordinary. Is just extraordinary… on vacation.
Sacrificing personal development is only natural and a rite of passage one must undergo when taking in people and growing out of oneself. Oneself morphs to ‘ourself’. A worthy sacrifice for the one and world within and without.
If I’m to escape an aneurism- I have to stop trying to comprehend inexplicable idiocy. Always putting logic way up there... The premise that everyone does something voluntarily or involuntarily must be backed up by a reason… That would cause a certain change and actualize a benefit be it tangible or intangible. There I go again?! Sheesh.
Everybody’s done some stupid shit. Well except... Nobody.
It’s always better to be the threat than the threatened. #leverage
Learnt that I've got limits. Much as I wanna indulge in my childhood delusions of grandeur- a black superman (no tights of course), it’s not feasible. I'm no Superman. Got no spidey sense. No... I'm just a black man- Skin color? Check. XY chromosome? Check. Yup. Just a black man with knowledge of his limits.
That no matter where I go/run there's no safe haven from politics. Stuck between embracing it and polishing my heels and keep walking. From PTA meeting (kindergarten) to Religion to the Military now (?!?!) and even family.
More about my worth and further means of mensuration
That I really do talk fast! (I keep telling people it’s much much better now… over a decade ago- only my brother was up to the task- a conversation with me. Yeah… I know right.)
Learnt a lot through Japan’s natural disaster. One thing does really lead to another. *sigh* How composed they were. Are. And one more reason why I respect the Japanese.
Learnt that multi-tasking is really overrated and the word itself is a misnomer. Multi-tasking is simply (over) tasking your brain by overlapping activities which appear to be done well and simultaneously, whereas in reality they get half your attention thus half productivity if they're two i.e. A third if 3 and so on. What happens is that your brain keeps on switching rapidly between one task and the other. (exceptional cases are abound though, when it comes to ‘rapidly’ switching i.e.)
There are people you just can’t reason with.
Flossing is really important
And behold joy and gladness, slaying oxen, and killing sheep, eating flesh, and drinking wine: let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die.
King James Bible
Cockroaches love cocoa butter flavored soap. ‘Em damn thing binge on it whenever I’m outta town. *smh*
Learnt a couple of tricks to control my road rage.
There are lots of instances one sacrifices logic. And others. Emotion.
People always emerging as victims in almost every aspects of life are either hypocrites or simply dim witted. Same thing goes for people who use the word ‘karma’ very often… Signs of weakness and attention seeking.
Even though commonly said that women are the weaker sex... They are the most arrogant and proud- they could sacrifice a limb to prove a point. If you ask me… that aint weak.
To ascend one must descend and stay there for a moment or two. For once you soar. Beguiled they will be by the roar of soaring sphinx
Committing any sin is easy. But living with it afterwards...
That it IS possible to lie to yourself.... The glitch is always... Believing it C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E-L-Y.
Learnt that if you want original Eureka-level ideas. You have to distance yourself from common ground. If it’s architectural or fashion for instance go south of it. Else you'd risk falling into the ‘crime’ of recycling. Inspiration can from the sewage or mother nature. Basically- try not thinking of what it is you’ve been obsessed about and go somewhere… chill. It’ll come.
That no matter how awful, full of holes, faults, or bad a person is... People exist who can’t do without them, miss them terribly, recurrently, consistently, continually... Usually one person does all these duly.
When you're travelling in a car especially a commercial vehicle. Make sure the last number you dial is that of a next of kin.
You seldom regret going with your gut feeling intuition as against it.
Learnt that you should never treat a living thing as a trophy. Cuz we're doing a bum job with inanimate ones as it is.
Not to trust gadgets. They always find a way of letting you down.
To only trust people in one instance. Which is… to be themselves.
That cooking does go well with singing, humming, and the likes... Adds this content to a bachelors meal.
Learnt that no matter how well it seems a person is doing. Trust me he/she is struggling.
People find it really convenient nowadays to use phones and the likes when evading confrontation or rather facing reality.
You don’t really need all that to be happy and look healthy. Just put your heart in the right place and your head in the right direction. SET! GO!
That when booking a flight and you get low fares. Book shap shap! And also be conscious of their policies. Yeah… those annoying small font writings hidden in a corner- that’s where they hide stuff like “This booking will expire in 14hours” *smh*
Life would at times test you to core... Have you questioning your very own standards and foundations... When that happens remember why you're still stuck where you are. Why did you get into it from d beginning. Lastly it the premiss holds and the reason is still viable know that you're and have been doing it for yourself. Why? Cuz you owe it to yourself to grow and excel vastly on the 4 dimensional axes thus ante up the threshold that bound you before. You owe it to yourself.
To do selective listening.
To turn on, fine tune, and switch off certain generator sets. Big and small. #handy
I've learnt that contrary to popular belief peer pressure grows exponentially as people grow older especially in women.
I've learnt that being my prude self always pays. It will prevent me from being duped. :-p Actually it did! #LagosBlues. Lolz
I've learnt that people take you more seriously when you're a clown than a savant. Cuz you are easily likeable ‘rememberable’ and thus 'eligible'
I've learnt that if I wannabe productive online. I need to limit the number of tabs I have open. That just lowers RAM and breeds more procrastination
That I'm never to assume anything until I ascertain it. Never to expect anything. Just never. Unless of course I’m assessing risk. (M_ O_R Certification on mind)
When in a new environment… Assimilate first. Adapt. Adopt.
To tie your Sallah ram/rago well well and make sure the gate is locked before going to Eid prayer. Else you'd end up sweating and saliva ting at the thought of the barbecue on a beach you cud have been enjoying before u finally catch a lucky break. *smh*
People who say they dont wanna see you hurt are the ones that hurt you the worst.
I've learnt that people don’t wanna be bothered at times. The earlier you realise it the better
I've learnt that.... No one's to be trusted especially ones self- the one best at f*****g things up. We trust ourselves soooo much that it bring forth our own destruction all the while saying “I know what I’m doing” “It feels right” “I’m not stupid” “I hear you...” Basically- listen someone besides yourself.
Always have back-up planS. ALWAYS.
Establish consistent time intervals to update any kind of data you have stored in a any gadget AND DONT travel or move around with it.
Not to regret or feel sorry for courses of action I’ve knowingly taken.
To smile more often!! As in show my teeth. (I know have two new laughs. Two new smiles. And one new smirk.)
To have a steady self-assessing routine with measurable benefits
Take time within my travels and read more, write more, & research more.
Take care of my body. (iLook different they say)
De cuerdo y loco todos tenemos un poco #spanish
Take more risks outside this dome that is my head
To spend money more judiciously with means of checking myself.
REMEMBER PEOPLE’S NAMES. (always been the faces’ guy)
A lot of clichés in real life- you just can’t imagine.
Clearly define where you stand your status quo regularly in any endeavor and hold reviews. Takes away the tastelessness of uncertainty.
To forgive myself
Learnt that if a woman/girl seems off or distress and you ask “what’s the matter?” she answers “nothing…” you ask a second time later on. Still no definite answer. DON’T nudge, persist and insist that she answer. DON’T WO. Lol.
To be specific
To be less vain. (whatever)
Some people really do have the IQ Of a pinball *smh*
Others… the heart of pigeon with leprosy.
Always call instead of emailing when gathering data for a project. Emails should be to document agreements made afterwards.
It’s easy for me to make friends. And much easier to make enemies. One requires knowledge. The other ignorance. We all know the latter is most abundant.
That surest way to a successful biz venture or (even personal endeavour) is to ask d right person… the right questions… rightly. (Ask all the uncomfortable questions 1st)
To read between the lines with hawk precision and zero bias. Objectivity--Subjectivity
Ignorance is truly a bliss. The preceding is question is however, for how long?
It’s always the little things…
People have a higher affinity to think negatively towards others. But saintly in self regards.
Boori (heightened aspiration) is the crux of failed, failing, and planned to fail marriages. Its effects start way before a girl/boy is ripe for marriage- parents’ fluxing blood pressure, constraining finances, falling into heavy debts, asset stripping and the likes.... ALL for a bash. Status. 'Acceptance'. Eventually it ends in disease, death (of parent), dug up embarrassment, and a dirty laundry show. At least these I’ve witnessed 1st hand. Who's fault? The parents for creating the deluded dogma, encouraging it, frowning upon those that defy or shy from it. Saying “you only get married off once”. Forgetting the ever increasing divorce rates which I reply to as you can divorced 1-3times (for dudes its infinite) *smdh*. Simply put- Take it easy! And encourage your male children to phrase their sentence this way- “I’M going to get married” NOT “I’m going to get married off…” (my point is better driven in Fulfulde or Hausa)
It’s a very very small world. Yet... Has infinite possibilities full of varying nuances. Be mindful of where you go… with whom… why?
During and after a wedding ceremony-provide security. Good security. Cars get stolen like candy. Poof!!
How to take really bad news over the phone yet still forge ahead.
That it is true what they say about the drowning man.
When hospital-sitting a person be sure to ask of ALL procedures your patient might be having and where. Cuz you might just walk into a room and see a bleeding catheter being shoved- all d while holding onto milkshake and an unfinished chicken nugget delicacy- yes you guessed right. I puked in my mouth. Nausea and numbness- if u know wat i mean. Lolz. *straight face*
Of course relationships aren't easy... if they were they would be spelt shorter. :p
It’s not impossible but herculean and a tad bit epic to document lessons from a whole year. So ama just rest my ‘pen’ and ‘eraser’… (What would’ve been titled “101 lessons of 2011” grew to “365….“ (for each day) then more and more… till I chopped off chunks.)
I’ve learnt that if you're still reading this- you're one hell of patient person. :-)
It’s 11:59pm December 31st of 2011… and I’m still learning.